here comes the air

6:46pm: i pushed some boundaries, and you were proud, and told me to write about it in my livejournal, and so i am. and i'm proud of myself too. time to keep pushing boundaries! who knows what i'll do next.

12:53am: my new years resolution?
to be happy.
that's all i really need,
but it's much more complicated than it seems.

i wish myself the best of luck.

7:48pm: oh no, snow.
looking too forward to a break,
and looking too forward to things is no good
because then they mean so much less when they happen.
cynicism and anxiety are slowly killing me.

12:36pm: it's starting to get chilly
but i don't really mind.
it's a nice change.

i never really know what to write.
i always over analyze everything
to the point where i have nothing to say.
i don't know how to fix that.
maybe i just need to stop thinking.

8:07am: i need to start over with this.
i come off as being so negative,
but that's because i think i probably am.

alright, here's a fresh start.

this semester has not been too bad just yet.
granted i dislike all but one of my classes,
but you know what, that's alright.
there's a lot of possibilities.

i feel motivated to do something,
but i just need to figure out what to do exactly.
i have a hard time figuring myself out,
and until i can do that i'm not sure i'll be able
to do anything i really enjoy.
but i'll find it.
i'm sure i will.

8:15pm: "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? Even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.

You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."

5:49pm: i think that my lack of interest in man-kind in general is often mistaken for bitchiness,
and i think that my general indifference is often mistaken for sadness.
i also think that i don't care.

i'm bored with this.

5:24pm: ( EMERGENCY. )